Monday, December 24, 2007

BARNABY TIMES: VOLUME III

Top 10 Ways to Blow 4.5 Million
The University of Hawaii football team is looking forward to a big pay day on the first day of the new year. That pay day coming from a trip to the Bayou State in the Sugar Bowl to face the Bull Dogs of Georgia. Hawaii is looking at a purse of approximately 4.5 million (which will turn out to be more like 3million and change, after all the Sugar Bowl expenses) that will likely go to building and repairing facilities that the campus sorely needs as well as sports related scholarships. But, what else can you get, in the sports world, for that kind of fabulous mullah? I've compiled a top ten list to answer that question .

1. Settle the lawsuit filed against you, by Denny Green, after you've been selling "They Are Who We Thought They Were" T-Shirts, Baseball Caps and Sweat Pants. You should've went with the "Crown Their Asses" shirts.
2. Donate to Colt's future campaign for Governor of Hawaii in 2022, after his successful NFL career is over (Go ahead say it "Governor Brennan", it works well doesn't it? ).
3. Put someone's name on the Mitchell report.
4. Keep your name off the Mitchell report.
5. Give the bulk of the money to Tropical Conservation Biology & Environmental Sciences while another portion will go to the preservation of local wildlife and also provide….……. Wait, how'd that get in there?
6. Go to Vegas with Charles Barkley or a group of NBA refs and match them bet for bet .
7. Pay Michelle Wie's future psychiatry bill.
8. Pay A-Rod for a defensive out.
9. Pay the entire Florida Marlins roster for a year (And probably still pick up a couple free agents).
10. Bail out the 2008 draft class of the Bengals/Trail Blazers.
Honorable Mentions: Feed Latrell Spreewell's kids (always a classic), Pay for TO's celebratory fines, Pay for Greg Oden's future knee surgeries (Sorry Rob).

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mele Kalikimaka! nice one! Aloha!

Anonymous said...

at the risk of sounding stupid what is lmao?

Leahey & Leahey Live said...

I believe it means "laughing my ass off"

On that note...
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

- Rob DeMello

Anonymous said...

In the Advertiser article, seems about 1/2 the money is gone to cover 542 UH 'higher-ups and friends' and their expenses. Hell....less spending on that kind of perks and leave more to the campus.